linzeestyle: (Default)
[personal profile] linzeestyle
 I've had a stress headache for the last solid 36 hours.  I put my Tumblr on indefinite hiatus: somewhere in the reblogging of that post I deeply regret making, and in true Tumblr fashion, someone deleted my original response to the anon who had begun the conversation, and instead took a small portion of my reply and quoted it out of context in favor of attacking "the old people" who are "whining" about how fandom used to be.  I cannot even explain to you the many twisted, bizarre, nonsensical directions that post took from there: the desire for text-based crossposting is classist, racist, ableist (I...worked in Disability Resources for four years, and I desperately want someone to explain how GIFs are more accessible than screen-reader accessible text), pick your poison.  The very act of using text-based platforms is an elitist, clique-based enterprise and (actual phrasing) tumblr is an anarcho-socialist subculture that allows for universal equality regardless of whether or not you're contributing!

I can't handle this.  I'm tired.  Tumblr is exhausting to me,  like trying to follow a Donald Trump stump speech.  More and more I find myself beginning to plan out a fic idea, and then stopping to think, "there's no point in this," and moving on.  Which of course is no problem, as I was reminded in one of the last reblogs I saw before I deleted everything but my fanart and blocked myself out of Tumblr (I have a week to decide if I'm deleting or not): 'every time some whiny old fan leaves we're just going to get two new better ones anyway.'

I'm tired of doing backflips trying to justify what I want, because frankly, I'm tired of the nonsense idea that Tumblr and its obsession with "squads" is somehow different from the groups of friends that Tumblr seems to think were "elitist cliques" in text-based formats.  All I want is a small community of fandom friends that I can get excited about fandom with.  I want to be able to talk about fic ideas - to bounce weird ones off of, to work through plot points I'm stuck on, to be told "no that's a terrible idea" or "no that works" and to do the same in kind when they need it.  I want to have fandom friends I can text terrible vid ideas to or ridiculous headcanons.  I want to have friends I can ask to beta.  I want to have fandom friends who will dare me to do ridiculous things I wouldn't otherwise.  I want to actually have a community.

I need to step away for a while and regroup, I think.  Decide if this is a hobby that's worth fighting for, if it's something that genuinely causes me this much strife.  Because at this point I think the only way I could create of Tumblr a useful experience would be to use it exclusively as a content dump: I'd also need to remove roughly half the blogs on my dash currently, and I don't think I'm ready for the unpleasantness that would ensue from that either.  I don't know.  This is what I mean by missing that community.  I need help figuring out how to fix this for myself.  Fandom and fan creatives have been my primary hobby over half my life.  I hate the idea of losing it, but i don't feel as though it's optional, anymore.

I'm just frustrated.  I remain frustrated.  This too shall pass.

Date: 1 Sep 2015 08:04 pm (UTC)
princessofgeeks: (spock chair by anadapta)
From: [personal profile] princessofgeeks
Wow, I'm sorry you are going through this!

I subscribed to you on Dreamwidth after someone, I believe it was bluemeridian, linked to the discussion about Tumblr and the ideas about linking to fic, etc.

It all sounded like a great idea to me, as someone who wasn't all that interested in a new platform and was very happy on DW and was hoping to support anything that led to more posting here.

So I'm sorry the discussion devolved in such an awful way and I hope you feel better soon.

Date: 1 Sep 2015 09:03 pm (UTC)
shipwreck_light: (Default)
From: [personal profile] shipwreck_light
tumblr is an anarcho-socialist subculture that allows for universal equality regardless of whether or not you're contributing

Given that, keep fighting for what's worth fighting for (IE no bullshit and actual relationships... OK, only the good kind of BS like fannon and cake) with your middle finger held as high as possible.

*says the person who runs off rageohol, YMMV*

You can come do novel things with Comrade Squid @ my place any time you like. Fan novels are cool too! We love fan novels.

Date: 1 Sep 2015 09:12 pm (UTC)
goss: (*headdesk* Don Music)
From: [personal profile] goss
: the desire for text-based crossposting is classist, racist, ableist

OMGLOL! Kids these days, or something right... *long sigh*

Tumblr used to send my blood pressure up until I withdrew my participation to newsfeed level. So sorry you are getting all that stupidity dumped on you for trying to address and improve our current predicament. Just one more reason why a platform that encourages thoughtful discussion is so badly in need I guess.

Date: 1 Sep 2015 11:28 pm (UTC)
shipwreck_light: (Default)
From: [personal profile] shipwreck_light
A-fruitloops-men. Thank you!

Date: 2 Sep 2015 01:29 am (UTC)
goss: (Default)
From: [personal profile] goss
Yeah, Well I teach 11-14 year old girls all day long, and they are NOTHING compared to the idiotic behaviour on Tumblr, so I don't think age is an excuse for these people. Could be a bit of entitlement that comes with budding adulthood though. Also, that saying "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing". *nother looooong sigh*

Tumblr as a newsfeed

Basically, I just follow very, very few people. Luckily, they are the level-headed sort, who I knew from LJ that went over to Tumblr, and they tend to reblog a mix of fannish (the latest gifs, vids, fics, funny tweets, etc) and non-fannish (recipes, life hacks, world news, photography) content. :)

I do remember having to *unfollow* a whole bunch of people very early on when I got tired of ready post after post of blood-boiling content. So I like my cozy, lurker corner on Tumblr where I can creep on what's going on without getting pulled into the madness. *g*

Date: 13 Sep 2015 04:12 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] roguewrld
You can subscribe to Tumblrs, LJs, Dreamwidths etc via Feedly. Then you can use their native reader, although I prefer gReader. Bonus: Posts can be read in the order they were made, instead of the most recent one being on top.

Date: 1 Sep 2015 10:17 pm (UTC)
handypolymath: (monster)
From: [personal profile] handypolymath
I'm sorry you've had to deal with this strange devolving fallout.

Date: 3 Sep 2015 12:25 am (UTC)
handypolymath: (jerk)
From: [personal profile] handypolymath
I think yes, it's an idea with legs--and one of the things I like about a more text-friendly supplemental space is that it also slows down the pace a bit, lets my brain ruminate and when I have the spare moment there's still a discussion to come back to.

I'm all for self-selected spaces. Part of that is refraining from shitting on platforms that don't thrill you, but that doesn't mean refraining from critique. I think making a fan space friendly and welcoming is a separate concern from the platform it plays out on.

Gah! I think I'm rusty at commenting!

Date: 1 Sep 2015 11:41 pm (UTC)
bluemeridian: Chloe from Smallville, with coffee and a sideways look. (Default)
From: [personal profile] bluemeridian
I think withdrawing from Tumblr, at least temporarily, sounds like a good idea given your situation and frustration. The good thing about fandom is that it really is more than just Tumblr with all it's associated insanity. For me it's also Dreamwidth, Livejournal, Twitter, and Pinboard. I enjoy checking in on Tumblr because it's the densest population of fans (the suburbs, at any rate), but taking an extended vacation in the country isn't bad either. Even if you don't have the community you're looking for right now, even if it needs some building, that doesn't mean you have to let go forever. Just some deep breaths, meet some new people, and re-evaluate the whole thing when you're recharged. :)

Date: 2 Sep 2015 03:16 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
That's awful.

I'm trying to think how to even frame this. Is it that people who have never known anything but Tumblr love it and can't imagine any other platform? But then why would it inspire such rampant devotion? Tumblr frequently crashes, follows and unfollows people at random, eats your asks, and makes it hard to communicate. I guess if you don't want those things, that wouldn't matter to you.

Wanting more than reblogged gifsets (which are great, don't get me wrong) is just another aspect of fandom imho. Some people want meta, want to examine characters or situations or theories, or have a lengthy discussion. I feel like you should be able to do that without being attacked. Everyone gets into a fandom for a reason, and it shouldn't matter what your reason is. Fandom should be fun, not stressful.

I'm lucky in that I generate basically no content myself (haha) and so I don't draw any attention. I follow mostly level-headed, tolerant people who post a mix of gifsets and discussion and memes - including you but I totally get why you want to take a step back. You seem like a great person, and I like your writing, both fic and personal. I hope you won't stay away forever, or at least that you'll continue interacting in some format.

- Coldbluehalo (I can't remember my DW info right now)

Date: 2 Sep 2015 03:29 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] dragonlady7
I followed you off too, you and another couple of users-- we'll see how this goes, last time I switched platforms i just stopped reading anything from anyone-- but, anyway, hi, and I'm sorry to see how crazy everything went back there. I've never been popular enough for anything like it to happen and I'm sort of-- well, they're about to roll out a new coding change that makes it literally actually impossible to have a threaded discussion of any kind on there, so it's probably about time.

Anyway. I'm bomberqueen17 over there and I'm one of many, I'm sure, who wrote you to ask what happened to the mpreg epic after you purged your AO3, and you were sweet enough to offer to send me a link and then I lost the comment and never responded and cannot, cannot find it, because Tumblr is SO GREAT FOR HAVING CONVERSATIONS.
ell oh ell.

Date: 2 Sep 2015 05:42 am (UTC)
featheredshadow: (Default)
From: [personal profile] featheredshadow
Tumblr can be pretty exhausting and people on it are rather rude. There's some kind of nastiness to fandom on this plateforme, and the fact that text posts can be cut like yours did really don't help creating a healthy environment.

There is some kind of weird elitism between fans that just make it difficult to enjoy being in fandoms. Why is there a need to create a squad when you're in a fandom?
And it's really difficult to maintain friendships on this website. I can count on one hand the amount of people I'm on good terms (wouldn't dare say "friend with") on this website and all of them are people I've been following for years. (That also probably depends on how one creates friendships irl but... well.)

I'm really sorry you're feeling so miffed about this website. I've taken the habit to go through the people I follow and unfollow every time I can tired of what I'm seeing on my dash (and at some point deleted my blog and moved to another to start anew in another fandom) but I find it really difficult to have a great fandom experience on there compared to ffnet. Being in a big fandom on tumblr is an exhausting experience and not a very gratifying one most of the time.

Take care of yourself anyway, that's the most important!

Date: 2 Sep 2015 12:17 pm (UTC)
my_desperate_romance: (nico #1)
From: [personal profile] my_desperate_romance
This grouping together that tumblr does has always bugged me especially with regards to disability, because then you get stuff like what you quoted above - claiming that certain things are just "better" for people with disabilities, ignoring that there are lots of different kinds? I don't doubt that for some people a mostly visual fandom experience is more accessible, the same way I don't doubt that for someone who's blind it really isn't... (this is only mildly relevant to the post, but I had to get it off my chest)
Edited Date: 2 Sep 2015 12:17 pm (UTC)

Date: 2 Sep 2015 02:59 pm (UTC)
morgandawn: (Default)
From: [personal profile] morgandawn
As someone who was inspired by your tumblr post (even if - as I just now learned - I only saw a portion of it, I wanted to thank you for raising the topic. By the time it reached my dash, the responses were mainly positive and it helped prod me to set up some basic tumblr/DW cross-posting tutorials
http://morgandawn.dreamwidth.org/1411349.html
http://morgandawn.dreamwidth.org/1410736.html

If you're hesitant to unfollow someone, may I suggest xkit (they have a newer version here: http://new-xkit-extension.tumblr.com/) - you can use extension like Mute or Blacklist and wipe the negativity from your Dash without the drama of unfollowing.

And last, it may be amusing to hear that Tumblr is removing the ability to edit reblogs:
http://support.tumblr.com/post/128127169452/ever-see-a-crazy-long-indecipherable-reblog-chain

Date: 2 Sep 2015 04:08 pm (UTC)
sori: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sori
Tumblr is exhausting to me, like trying to follow a Donald Trump stump speech. Haaa! I am dying a little because that's a perfect analogy. It also makes me imagine the existence of some sort of witty Trump hair gif. (Also, hello, you don't me, but I wandered here through the wandering links in the tumblr fannish converesation.)

Date: 4 Sep 2015 01:11 am (UTC)
fenlings: (Default)
From: [personal profile] fenlings
I never understand other people getting upset at someone modifying the subscriptions that appear on their own blog feed? It's not even like lj where you lose access to anything by being unfollowed. DW splitting up friending into subscribing and giving access makes the feed curation easier and more logical, I think.

And talk about "socialist" - in what way does the community own the means of production at *Tumblr*?! DW and AO3 are a lot better in that respect.

Date: 6 Sep 2015 09:13 am (UTC)
tasyfa: Coloured sugar cubes in a rainbow round a coffee cup (Default)
From: [personal profile] tasyfa
*snuggles you* hello, Dr. Linzee. You know my disdain for Tumblr already (I treat it as a photo gallery). I have not been following the Drama because tbh, I rarely bother even dipping into it anymore. It makes me tired.

I have missed you. &♥

Date: 8 Sep 2015 08:59 am (UTC)
tasyfa: Photo of a smiling man (Rob [TO bed grin])
From: [personal profile] tasyfa
Yes and no? Lol. I still have my old phone, but I recently got a new one, and it does have a different number. I shall PM it to you.

Technically, TARDISes, as it's an acronym ;-). I have not seen a field full, though!

The adultier adult is a tragic myth. I'm sorry *hugs*

Date: 6 Sep 2015 10:13 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] piginawig
man I'm so sorry you've had to deal with that. I can understand why you'd want to de-activate. But as a somewhat recent-ish fan of your meta, I hope you don't delete. Or at least cross-post it to here.

I ended up coming here after you made that post because you absolutely had the right idea. I mean they can say what they want on tumble about old people etc but the thing about here and lj is at least I never felt awful afterwards.

Tumblr is such a breeding ground of negativity and I got no idea where it came from? I mean I got one in '09 and it was negative but that was a select few from the fandom I was in. Otherwise it was just funny memes and that airport game in 2012, I think.

Date: 7 Sep 2015 12:55 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] piginawig
haha no it was an awesome surprise to wake up to.

i think theres something to be said about how tumblr really is some people's first experience with fandom. also the fact that people are more open about it. i had a (then) 17 year old girl at work tell me that mickey/ian from shameless were her otp - verbatim - and how she liked to go on tumblr to look at all the graphics. and i didn't have a problem with that. but coming from old fandom, as soon as she told me i had this need to look around and make sure no one had overheard the conversation because obsessive fan involvement was a thing to keep quiet.

but thats another thing too, in that as much as i enjoy the breaking of barriers between fans and celebs, it really does feel as if a line is being crossed. and i think it does have to do with this new generation of fandom and also because of the internet these people are so much more accessible to us now. because so many of these new fans are first-timers, they don't realise there should be a boundary.

idk i feel like i'm not making much sense but it's very late and i'm tired haha.

what i do want to say about tumblr quickly though is that i feel a lot of the negativity comes from the sjw blogs (and that stuff obviously carries over into fandom) and the guilt trip in "why hasn't this issue got more notes? you're a horrible person if you don't reblog." and the constant kind of this is wrong with the world etc. i had a really tough time mentally in the past year and all that stuff didn't help. and while i think yes its great people are more aware of these issues and fighting for them to be heard. tumblr used to be a place of escape for me and now it just stresses me out more.

somehow that fit into my argument but i've got the worst memory and can't remember how i was going to get around that.

Date: 10 Sep 2015 04:03 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] piginawig
I was meant to reply to this sooner but life y'know.

Anyway, I totally got your point. And I've noticed that about the kink-shaming too. But it was still a bit of a shock to go from one really accepting fandom (star trek) to another (glee) where some of the fans were blatantly reblogging rp blogs and mocking them.

Anyway gotta get back to work but yes - all this plus some that I want to add but will probably forget lbr lol.

Date: 6 Sep 2015 05:59 pm (UTC)
cryptolect: Intrepid girl adventurer (Default)
From: [personal profile] cryptolect
Just checking in and saying hi, since I've followed you here from Tumblr. I came from LJ to DW and on to Tumblr. I've never been one to say much on any platform, partly because I have such a small amount of brain and time to devote to fandom. But I'm naturally more at home with a place like DW than Tumblr, I really look forward to a long text post coming down my Tumblr dash, and I left some people behind here on DW who I miss when I moved, so I thought I'd spend some time back over here and join your experiment and see how it goes :)

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