OK, see, I was all "gonna re-read and this time leave coherent feedback about characterization and great power dynamic and awesome language" but then I actually re-read it and now I kinda... can't feel my legs. AGAIN. HOW IS THIS STORY SO HOT.
So, um, copy+paste of some WHOA lines:
I don't lie up on stage -- it's performance, you know? - YES. THIS. THANK YOU. OH, ADAM.
He was right: the rings bite into his skin as Adam grabs him. - this detail is just so gorgeous and so eloquent...
Adam wraps it around his wrists tight enough to be more than show. - oh, yes, MORE than show, but it's a quantitative difference, the way stage performance evolves rather than transforms into sex. GUH.
Adam makes music feel like sex, and Tommy thinks that's the only way rock and roll should be. - SO MUCH \o/
and his whole body tightens like a guitar string - my love for this line cannot be textually rendered. OMG. ♥
And then the ending. Which is perfect. SIGH.
Um. This feedback still sucks, but you know - your own fault. SO FILTHY AND GORGEOUS AND HOT AND OMFG.
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Date: 2009-12-10 07:11 am (UTC)So, um, copy+paste of some WHOA lines:
I don't lie up on stage -- it's performance, you know? - YES. THIS. THANK YOU. OH, ADAM.
He was right: the rings bite into his skin as Adam grabs him. - this detail is just so gorgeous and so eloquent...
Adam wraps it around his wrists tight enough to be more than show. - oh, yes, MORE than show, but it's a quantitative difference, the way stage performance evolves rather than transforms into sex. GUH.
Adam makes music feel like sex, and Tommy thinks that's the only way rock and roll should be. - SO MUCH \o/
and his whole body tightens like a guitar string - my love for this line cannot be textually rendered. OMG. ♥
And then the ending. Which is perfect. SIGH.
Um. This feedback still sucks, but you know - your own fault. SO FILTHY AND GORGEOUS AND HOT AND OMFG.